This post is in honour of the 2008-09 season that starts in just a few short days. Originally, this piece was part of a bigger piece that extolled the virtues of Canada and used, only for comparison purposes, our neighbours to the south. This is not meant, in any way, to insult any American readers.
Hockey is to Canada what baseball is to the United States. There are Canadians who profess to dislike hockey, but I’m pretty sure they’re just kidding. A Canadian who doesn’t like hockey is like a college student who doesn’t like extra money; I’ve never met one, and I doubt they exist.
Americans, however, seem to prefer baseball. Baseball is very boring to watch. In baseball, the batting team spends most of its time sitting in a dugout and spitting out streams of tobacco. The players in the field spend most of their time crouched and ready to move in case the batter happens to hit the ball, which doesn’t happen that often. Sometimes, when the batter actually hits the ball and it’s flying out into the infield, he can run to first base. But usually, by the time the batter gets there, the first baseman is already holding the ball. Then the player is out and he has to go back to the dugout, sit down, and spit out streams of tobacco.
And then there is hockey. Hockey is two and a half hours of fast-paced, action-packed, sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat excitement. Both teams play at the same time and skate so hard and so fast that each player only plays for about a minute at a time so he doesn’t get winded. Where baseball consists mostly of people standing still in one place, hockey is about constant motion. As columnist Andrew Coyne from the National Post writes, “It’s ice dancing, only with more bruises and fewer sequins.”
Speaking of bruises—hockey players are known for their bruises and scars and missing teeth. Baseball players are disabled by violent sneezes (Sammy Sosa), sleeping on their eyes funny (Chris Brown), and straining their elbows flipping sunflower seeds (Greg Harris). In May of 2006, during the playoff games, Oiler, Ryan Smyth was accidentally hit in the face with the puck. Smyth lost three teeth, cracked both lips, and after a quick trip to the locker room for stitches, was back in the game to score the winning goal in overtime. In 1964, Bob Baun of the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup playing on a broken ankle. We can see why we consider our hockey players so heroic. Hockey players play their game harder than anyone expects of them; baseball players miss games for accidentally rubbing chili juice in their eyes (Bret Barberie).
One of baseball’s advantages is that most of the players still have all of their teeth. Besides that very minor detail, hockey is, all around, the better sport.
Hockey is to Canada what baseball is to the United States. There are Canadians who profess to dislike hockey, but I’m pretty sure they’re just kidding. A Canadian who doesn’t like hockey is like a college student who doesn’t like extra money; I’ve never met one, and I doubt they exist.
Americans, however, seem to prefer baseball. Baseball is very boring to watch. In baseball, the batting team spends most of its time sitting in a dugout and spitting out streams of tobacco. The players in the field spend most of their time crouched and ready to move in case the batter happens to hit the ball, which doesn’t happen that often. Sometimes, when the batter actually hits the ball and it’s flying out into the infield, he can run to first base. But usually, by the time the batter gets there, the first baseman is already holding the ball. Then the player is out and he has to go back to the dugout, sit down, and spit out streams of tobacco.
And then there is hockey. Hockey is two and a half hours of fast-paced, action-packed, sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat excitement. Both teams play at the same time and skate so hard and so fast that each player only plays for about a minute at a time so he doesn’t get winded. Where baseball consists mostly of people standing still in one place, hockey is about constant motion. As columnist Andrew Coyne from the National Post writes, “It’s ice dancing, only with more bruises and fewer sequins.”
Speaking of bruises—hockey players are known for their bruises and scars and missing teeth. Baseball players are disabled by violent sneezes (Sammy Sosa), sleeping on their eyes funny (Chris Brown), and straining their elbows flipping sunflower seeds (Greg Harris). In May of 2006, during the playoff games, Oiler, Ryan Smyth was accidentally hit in the face with the puck. Smyth lost three teeth, cracked both lips, and after a quick trip to the locker room for stitches, was back in the game to score the winning goal in overtime. In 1964, Bob Baun of the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup playing on a broken ankle. We can see why we consider our hockey players so heroic. Hockey players play their game harder than anyone expects of them; baseball players miss games for accidentally rubbing chili juice in their eyes (Bret Barberie).
One of baseball’s advantages is that most of the players still have all of their teeth. Besides that very minor detail, hockey is, all around, the better sport.
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4 comments:
I think you'll find a lot of Americans prefer to watch football over baseball.
How come bowling never gets any play?
Football's good Gnb, but hockey and baseball are enjoyable as well. What's the difference between them, anyway? Of course, each game is played differently, but they all require effort and teamwork in order to be the best. Injuries happen, teeth get lost and bones get broken. All that matters in the end is you're having fun. J
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