Two heads are better than one...

First of all—thank you to Lilly for suggesting this idea. I’ve been staring glumly each day at this blog hoping to read a new entry and each of those days I’m just a little disappointed. I guess ’cause my creative power flows through the idea showers we have together, and when you all are dry so am I. But thanks to Lilly’s idea, I feel invigorated and yearn to write something. So here we go.

(And to Lilly—I also have “Swinging on a Star” on my ’Pod, but only after I saw Bruce Willis sing it in some bad ’80s gangster/heist/musical film. Boy, I wish I could find his cover of it. So obscure.)

Song 1: “4 Minutes” by Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland

I have a love/hate relationship with Madonna. I’ve never loved an artist whose personality is pretentious and obnoxious, who started out as a lacy-gloved-wearing candy pop singer to become a leather-clad siren. I’ll never like Madonna as a person, but I love her music. I LOVE her music. She has a seductive, confident voice and an ear for music. She knows who to work with and what songs suit her (aside from her horrendous remake of “American Pie”), and “4 Minutes” is a great reinvention for her. I’m not a Justin Timberlake fan, but I can’t imagine anyone else’s voice on this track.

This song is great to work out to and I dare you not to try your sexiest strut on the treadmill.

Song 2: “London” by the Smiths

I downloaded this one before going to London for the first time; I found it through I-Tunes by cleverly searching the word “London.” Brilliant, eh? I needed some Brit rock that wasn’t the Beatles or Oasis. When I listen to Morrissey’s melancholy wails and the rapid fire drums, my mind drifts back to that sunny day in London, where I sit atop a double-decker, wind in my hair, as I snap pics of Big Ben and the Thames.

And I love the line “But did you see jealousy in the eyes/Of the ones who had to stay behind?”

Song 3: “Boogie Wonderland” by Earth, Wind & Fire

Any music cred I had with having the Smiths on deck is probably lost because the next random song that came up was by Earth, Wind & Fire (but hey, at least you know I wasn’t skipping the embarrassing tracks). I think this is just a cool song. EW&F don’t get that “disco sucks” vibe that hounds other ’70s artists like ABBA and the Bee Gees—probably because they were discreet. But I don’t doubt that the anti-disco steamroller crushed a few hundred copies of the Boogie Wonderland album. Why do I say they were discreet? Well, “Boogie Wonderland” was their biggest, most popular hit, but can you name any others? It’s easy if you love disco, not so much when it all sounds the same to you.

Why do I have this song on my ’Pod? Watch the scene in Caddyshack where this song is playing and you’ll understand. Maybe. “Wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?”

-Girl on the Corner (who rocks out with her rooster out)

Get'cha Head in the Game

It would appear that the only people reading this blog are the ones that write it. That being what it is, the least we could do is something to entertain each other. (Remember the story about the bear with the LiveStrong bracelet?) Anyway, I’ve come up with a game. Here’s what we’ll do:

1. Program your I-pod to random.
2. Write down the first three songs.
3. Write something special about them.

That’s all. It’ll be fun. Can’t wait to read about your music. And…GO!
I’ll even start.

Song 1: Swinging on a Star – Bing Crosby
I love Bing Crosby. My favourite movie is “White Christmas,” but I also love “The Bells of St. Mary’s,” and “Going My Way.” This song is from “Going My Way,” when he’s trying to get all the bad-ass kids to sing in a choir so they’ll stay out of trouble. It’s awesome. This song says you’ll grow up to be a mule, or a pig, or a fish if you don’t go to school and have nice manners. A song with a moral; them were the good ol’ days.

Song 2: Get'cha Head In The Game – High School Musical Soundtrack
I have my I-pod set so that when it picks up music, it picks it up from the general music selection and not a specialized folder. This means that it has every single song that has ever been entered into my I-tunes library. Both of my kids have I-pods so I also pick up their music. (And Christmas music.) That being said—I love this movie and know every song word for word. And also, it’s a good running song.

Song 3: Starry-Eyed Surprise – Paul Oakenfold
Another good running song. I first heard this song on a Diet Coke commercial (the one with the girl on rollerskates and the bubbles). I loved this song so much that I spent the next four months asking every one I met if they had ever heard this song and who it was by and what it was called. Finally, a girl in one of my classes (Anna—the knower of all) had heard it and knew who it was by and what it was called and I ran to the library to see if I could find it, and they had it, and so now I have it. And also, this is one of the songs that I play full-blast before a football game so the boys can sing at the top of their lungs and get pumped up. Listening to eleven-year-olds sing the lyrics “Eclectic electric, ladies of the evenin’, drinkin’ booze and minglin’” is rather amusing.

Hockey vs. Baseball

This post is in honour of the 2008-09 season that starts in just a few short days. Originally, this piece was part of a bigger piece that extolled the virtues of Canada and used, only for comparison purposes, our neighbours to the south. This is not meant, in any way, to insult any American readers.


Hockey is to Canada what baseball is to the United States. There are Canadians who profess to dislike hockey, but I’m pretty sure they’re just kidding. A Canadian who doesn’t like hockey is like a college student who doesn’t like extra money; I’ve never met one, and I doubt they exist.

Americans, however, seem to prefer baseball. Baseball is very boring to watch. In baseball, the batting team spends most of its time sitting in a dugout and spitting out streams of tobacco. The players in the field spend most of their time crouched and ready to move in case the batter happens to hit the ball, which doesn’t happen that often. Sometimes, when the batter actually hits the ball and it’s flying out into the infield, he can run to first base. But usually, by the time the batter gets there, the first baseman is already holding the ball. Then the player is out and he has to go back to the dugout, sit down, and spit out streams of tobacco.

And then there is hockey. Hockey is two and a half hours of fast-paced, action-packed, sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat excitement. Both teams play at the same time and skate so hard and so fast that each player only plays for about a minute at a time so he doesn’t get winded. Where baseball consists mostly of people standing still in one place, hockey is about constant motion. As columnist Andrew Coyne from the National Post writes, “It’s ice dancing, only with more bruises and fewer sequins.”

Speaking of bruises—hockey players are known for their bruises and scars and missing teeth. Baseball players are disabled by violent sneezes (Sammy Sosa), sleeping on their eyes funny (Chris Brown), and straining their elbows flipping sunflower seeds (Greg Harris). In May of 2006, during the playoff games, Oiler, Ryan Smyth was accidentally hit in the face with the puck. Smyth lost three teeth, cracked both lips, and after a quick trip to the locker room for stitches, was back in the game to score the winning goal in overtime. In 1964, Bob Baun of the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup playing on a broken ankle. We can see why we consider our hockey players so heroic. Hockey players play their game harder than anyone expects of them; baseball players miss games for accidentally rubbing chili juice in their eyes (Bret Barberie).

One of baseball’s advantages is that most of the players still have all of their teeth. Besides that very minor detail, hockey is, all around, the better sport.

Conscience got your tongue?

There are some subjects I’m just not allowed to write about because of who I am and where I come from. I make judgments from the hip and then awkwardly backtrack when I realize how ridiculous I sound. So it goes without saying there are just some topics I shouldn’t express opinions about.

I would love to pose solutions to fat people and rant about the inanities of dieting. But I’m not fat, I don’t diet, so I’d be a big fat hypocrite. I like to think I know about eating right and staying trim, but honestly, it’s just that I’ve managed to stay one step ahead of genetics and my metabolism. I don’t have big bones or put on festive weight. I don’t fear bikini season or skinny jeans. I’ll just keep my big mouth shut.

I’m also not allowed to tell poor people what to do. I’d really like to though. There’s nothing I like more than a Cinderella story where the underdog gets all the success and riches they rightly deserve. But that’s one of those perfect world scenarios. Most poor people don’t really fit into that formula, not with phrases like “economic strain,” “market recession,” and “financially challenged.” I can’t tell poor people what to do when I don’t know what any of those mean.

And I certainly can’t talk politics ‘cause I don’t know anything about politics. All I know is that I dislike Stephen Harper and his beady, little rat eyes. Never trust a man with beady rat eyes. Now some may say that crazy folk show too much eyeball, but I say those “crazy” people’s motives are far more transparent than the beady-eyed folk’s. I know the runaway bride is gonna plead insanity and that the cursing homeless dude is gonna spit at me, but I have no idea what Harper’s up to.

I would truly love to wank about society’s ills, but I can’t because I’ve got it pretty good already. Other people are closer to and more familiar with these ills than I am and so I’ll leave the arguments up to them.

I’ll just hold my tongue for now.

- Girl on the Corner (holding her tongue ever so gently)

Mr. Dressup vs. Mr. Rogers

Both Mr. Dressup and Mr. Rogers were popular children’s TV hosts. Their shows ran from the late 60s, and although both these men have since died, their shows have been seen by the current generation of children.

Fred Rogers and Ernie Coombs (Mr. Dressup) came to Canada from the United States in 1963 to develop a children’s show for CBC. Ernie Coombs liked working in Canada so much that he stayed here to work on a show called Butternut Square. His show, Mr. Dressup premiered in 1967. Fred Rogers appeared on CBC as well in the early 60s, then went back to the United States. His show premiered in 1968. Having seen both shows as a child, I can say without hesitation that Mr. Dressup was better.

Mr. Dressup would go into his Tickle Trunk every show and become a wizard, or a pirate, or a big, feathery bird; Mr. Rogers would go into his closet every show and change his shoes. Mr. Dressup was intelligent, fast-paced, and exciting; Mr. Rogers felt that preschoolers could not understand what was being said unless he spoke slowly. His website claims, “He leaves time for children to reflect and respond, and he takes time to prepare them for what will come next and to explain what has happened before.” Kids already know what happened—they were there. And when he “takes the time to prepare them for what will come next,” he is taking away the exciting element of surprise. Mr. Dressup was always part of the fun. He thought up the skit that he and his puppet friends would act out; he often showed us how to make the costumes at craft time, and on every single show, he let go of his pride to have fun with his viewers. Mr. Rogers actually made a point of never appearing in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. According to his website, he felt that his young viewers would have a hard time sorting out who was a real person and who was make-believe. Funny that we Canadian kids didn’t have a problem figuring out the difference between make-believe and reality while watching Mr. Dressup.

Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood wasn’t all bad; he had some fun tours of factories, and the cranky puppet known as Lady Elaine was pretty entertaining. But when comparing the two, I think we can all agree that Mr. Dressup had the better show.